Nicole Kidman shares how she learned her mom had died right before a big award win

Nicole Kidman opened up about one of the most painful moments of her life during a recent appearance in Philadelphia. At a HISTORYTalks panel, she revealed she learned her mother, Janelle Kidman, had died just before she was set to walk on stage to accept the Best Actress award at the 2025 Venice Film Festival for her performance in Babygirl. "I was completely devastated," Kidman said, recalling how the news reached her backstage. "It was one of those surreal moments where joy and grief collided in the most intense way."

The timing made the loss especially difficult. The Venice win marked a major career milestone - her first top acting prize at a major international festival - but the celebration felt hollow. Instead of soaking in the moment, Kidman said she was trying to process the news while maintaining composure in front of cameras and fans. "I had to go out there and be present, but inside, I was breaking," she shared.

That experience, she said, changed her relationship with death. Rather than avoid the subject, she began seeking ways to understand it more deeply. That path led her to train as a death doula - a non-medical role focused on offering emotional and spiritual support to people nearing the end of life and their families. "It's very important to me," Kidman said. "We don't talk about death enough. We fear it, we hide it. But it's part of life."

She described the training as both challenging and healing, helping her process her own grief while learning how to sit with others in theirs. "There's a real need for compassion at the end," she said. "Being able to hold space for someone in that moment - it's a gift."

The conversation also touched on her work behind the camera. As a producer, Kidman has championed female-driven stories and more complex roles for women in Hollywood. She said her personal experiences have only strengthened her commitment to telling honest, emotionally resonant stories. "Life shapes the work," she said. "And the work, in turn, helps you make sense of life."

The panel, hosted by Hoda Kotb, drew a full audience at the Kimmel Center. Many in attendance said they were moved by Kidman's honesty. Her ability to speak openly about loss, without sentimentality or performance, stood out. "She didn't shy away from the pain," one attendee said. "But she also showed how something meaningful can come from it."

Kidman didn't go into detail about her mother's illness or cause of death, respecting the family's privacy. But she made clear that Janelle's influence remains strong. "She was my first supporter, my biggest believer," Kidman said. "Losing her changed me. But in some ways, it also brought me closer to who I'm meant to be."